Tracy asked me why i make this homepage. Well, here's my answer Honey.

I'm completely enthralled by the idea of making this homepage. Aside from pouring out my emotions and the things that just happen to tickle my innermost thoughts.I have quite a number of sentiments that need to be written down than blurted out in the open where it's difficult to mend mistakes. Here, I can edit all I want, I can pour out everything I feel in my own sweet time. This is my private portal, anyway.

I am what I am.What you see is what you get.I am sure, it is beauty thats going to capture your attention, but personality shall be the one to capture your heart. Remember whatever meets the eye doesnt give it all out, true and lasting beauty comes from within. I hope you find me as a beautiful creature of God with a deep and engrossing personality, a natural winning combination in anyones book. Let us all be true to ourselves and stop pretending what we are not. Dont bend the truth and turn out to be everybodys fool. Think it over-without the mask where will you hide?

Well, I'm Mae. I also known as Maris,Tru, Mae, Marie, Chubs. You name it. I've already been called it. I'm one of self-righteous people who knows the difference between right and wrong. Well, my own definition of right & wrong as it applies to my life and Me. I'm suppose to judge, but since I'm a human. I do.

Because of my conviction, I often feel guilty for doing so. I'm religious but not to a point where I lock myself in my room, scared of living life. I have made mistaken in the past, but like most of you, I try to learn them. It doesn't work out so well sometimes, because I fall back on the bad habbits. Then the guilt be back to consume me and make me change.

I am emotional. I guess it's hereditary. I get emotional when I get hurt. When I'm angry, I express my emotion verbally. When I'm sad I Express it by crying.

I am faithful. If my boyfriend is unfaithful, I speak up, I just don't keep quiet.

I am romantic. When someone goes out of his way to make me happy, my heart melts. Easily!

I am moody. Happy people around me keep me in a good, happy mood. Sad people around me make me sad.

I am voracious eater. I love food! I used to eat a lot, specially if they're my favorites.

I am religious. I believe in the power of prayer.

I am creative. I write poems when im not in tears and i love to write.

I am sensitive. I get hurt easily. If I'm in a relationship, I am sensitive to what my family feels and thinks about the guy.

I am secretive. In a way. Sometimes, I keep my feelings to myself. When I have a problem, I tend  to keep it to myself. I'm not the type who would bother someone and ask for his/her help.

I am ignorant. I know I have a lot to learn as far as relationship are concerned.

I am too trusting. It's not good is it?

I am suspicious, specially when some people give me a reason to be.

I am optimist. I look at the bright side of life at least I try to.

I am sweet.

I am sour.

I am sweet and sour at the same time.

I am strong, but maybe not emotionally, Mentally, yes. I am very strong.

I am real.

I am true.

I am what I am. You have to take me for what I am.

Well, only once in a while...and today i feel the need to be vain.

I must say that the past 31 years of my life had been pretty colorful, having a lot of lessons learned and quite a lot more to pay attention to. Sometimes i stop in recollection and think about who i am, because i may be drowning in a quagmire of colorful events, and in the process, forget who i really am and the things that i believe in. Sometimes, i tend to become a pushover, my kindness being mistaken for stupidity but hey, i can be like a leaf that would ride with tide, or a rock that stands firm against it.

Today i sat down and asked myself who am I. The big things are easy to remember, but the miniscule memories of the past hidden in a pocket full of youthful adventures are those that keep me standing firmly on the ground, as i recounted each one of them, I couldn't help but smile at my idiosyncracies, ambivalence and recklessness. I remember old friends, has been and even those whom my relationship with never worked out.

Why didn't I do this before? what accounts for the delay could be due to my perceived insignificant existence. so i thought, am i that insignificant? i guess not. i have and had a large share of problems and heartaches too. today, after an emotional day at home when my parents left, i feel like basking in memories of my past, indulging in a bit of vanity to make me feel a tad better. now to those who'd stumble upon this, i'm not trying to sell myself, i'm tired, distraught, alone and bored. allow me to pour out my emotions here and let me tell you more about ME.

1. Marissa Mae is the name chosen by my parents for me. Honestly i hate this name. but i have no choice i have to use it for the rest of my life.

2. I'm the third daughter out of 7, once referred to by my dad as the black sheep and the under achiever.

3. As a kid, i used to dress up like a supermodel while my sisters are just very simple. Not anymore. I too rugged now.

4. The very first movie i saw was Saturday night fever. I remember i was very young that time and i couldn't forget how infatuated i was with john travolta.

5. I was crazy over metal lunch boxes and the first one i had was a gift from my grandfather. It was a classic, flip top lunch box and although it was made of hard plastic, i loved it dearly becuase it was my first, it had snoopy stickers on it and it was white, my second was made of metal and had vinnie barbarian on it, my staples hard boiled egg and calamanci juice.

6. I watched voltes 5 and i couldnt remember exactly what day daimos and mazingers were shown but i watched them too. Did i mention star rangers? I remember imagining myself as erika while my crush-turned-nightmare was richard.

7. I had an avid "fan" when i was in 5th grade who wrote my name in the list of noisy students in class if i refused to talk to him during study period and since i never learned my lesson, i ended up staying after school to clean up with the cleaners for the day....ohhhh how i hated him!

8. I got low grades in high school, thats why i took up midwifery course only. My skills were developed in college though.

9. When i was 19, i got bitten by a japanese spitz because of my friends lack of common sense.

10. I used to be a 34-24-36 and had a great looking legs, dont ask me what happened. hehehee

11. The first novel i read was the Godfather, but i have always loved Memoirs of a Geisha.

12. I love to eat anything specially veges and less of meat. Salads are the most.

13. I have an 13 year old nephew who likes harry potter, wrestling and watched porn on the net. isnt it too early?

14. I'm a weeper and a sucker for love stories. I remember when One of my favorites actor died, i always cried whenever i saw his image on tv. the tabloids etc.

15. When i was in college, my hair was always cropped very short, once due to the hairdresser ineptness, she trimmed it too short, how's 1 cm? but it was really concious about my hair, that after that mishap....too bad.

16. Anything unconventional catches my eyes.

17. I love dressing up before, i dont know now. hehehe.

18. The very first LP album that i bought for myself was air supply, i like them and still love the group.

19. The first song i learned was sharon cuneta song, "To love again"

20. The first kiss landed on my right temple...and i felt like fainting afterwards.

21. I know how to cook good  foods, specially for the loved one.

22. I'm allergic to smoke. once i tried smoking a stick of cigarette, i got hospitalized for asthma. never tried it again since.

23. I have a penchant for cute smiles, i also love good conversation, snuggling and i would be hyprocrite if i'd say i dont get smitten by good looks, but believe me, if you dont have anything sensible between your ears, your just wasting your looks, hide it then. hahahaha.

24. I easily fall for men who can carry good conversation, are witty and sensitive.

25. I believe in santa clause, in miracles and i hope to stay in love with my work despite the problems i've been experiencing.

26.  For clothing,  i like black, white and pink sometime, i also go for shades of brown, white and sometimes blue.

27. I love going fancy restaurants. One place i could not forget is the sky lounge of sheraton hotel. you know why? aside from the magnificent view of harbour and the hongkong side views from the 30th floor, i had the priviledge to have dined and wined with the man i loved and in other occassions the place where i always been when i'm down. A very memorable place for me.

28. There are certain places that i really like to go but since the broke up with my ex i tried not to, it just remind of my relationship that didnt worked out.

29. I love sandals, shoes and sunglasses. i used to collect sunglasses but lately the prices getting expensive, i can't afford it this time so i have to stop and diet myself.

30. As a kid, I was allowed to go out to play with neighbors and friends early in the morning and even late at night with lots of conditions. Must do all our household chores that my parents assigned for me, homework must done. We used to have a little plyahouse that my uncle built, a hut made of bamboo slats. I enjoyed playing, one time, i remember getting stung by a bee on my hip when i inadvertently hit it while playing hide-and-seek. I also remember feeling very sad and sorry for the unhatched eggs that our pet pigeon deliberately dropped as i snooped around its nest....tsk...tsk... i didnt know i shouldnt do that.

 That was fun there's still quite a lot, but i'd reserve that for YOU who might want to know me more. now if you're interested, talk to me, i could use a friend

31. When my grand father died, i didnt know why God had to put me in that situation being his favorite and one of the person with him last and he saw last, i realized, He had to put me through all that to prepare me for things seemingly more difficult to bear and are yet to come.

There, I have completed all (31) .  I'm old and I'm getting old.  Oh My God.  I get so surprised how time flies so fast. With this thought in mind, I calmed down a little bit. But for a moment there, thoughts were raising through my mind. The typical “OMG. I’m getting old” Oh My God LOL.